YoKenny Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.' I bought her a scale. And then the fight started... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station. And then the fight started... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' And then the fight started... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"" Nah, she can order for herself." And then the fight started... ------------ --------- --------- --- A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's nearly perfect.' And then the fight started..... ------------ --------- --------- ------ I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream. And then the fight started.... ------------ --------- --------- --------- ----- My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday and then the fight started..... ------------ --------- --------- --------- ------ A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside. The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy crap. That must be my husband!' So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go. A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!' The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?' And then the fight started..... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.' My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?' And then the fight started ... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary? " It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?" And that's when the fight started.... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes." So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." And that's when the fight started.... "Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school." - Albert Einstein IE7Pro user Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Andavari Posted January 21, 2009 Moderators Share Posted January 21, 2009 Those really produced some laughter! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winapp2.ini Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 http://www.qdb.us/118151 winapp2.ini additions thread winapp2.ini github Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xion44 Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 my gf found these to be side splitting as well as i did. lmaO From my prespective, winvista club is a very good forum for all things windows related. They have helped me and many others in the past. Excellent hints and advice! System specifications and current apps and programs running Funniest moment during bush administration Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuLu Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 Haha those are awesome!! My favorite is the one with the running husband. I'm here. What are your other two wishes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTskifreak Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 I lol'd. AJ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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