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I want to uninstall Office XP, but I can't.

 

Whether I go to Add/Remove Programs or try to do it via CCleaner, I just get a message saying: "The patch package could not be opened."

 

How can I get the damn thing off my computer?

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Sure Delete 5.1.1 I've used it and it should work.

Windows 7 Ultimate 64-Bit Edition | COOLER MASTER Centurion 590 with 4 120mm Blue LED FANS 1 Regular 120MM FAN and a Custom Window Side Panel | AMD Athlon II x4 2.6GHZ Stock| XIGMATEK HDT-S963 92mm | ASRock A780GXE/128 | G.SKILL 4GB (2 x 2GB) @800MHZ | CF 2 XFX 4850 1GB @GPU940/MEM1005 | 320GB/OS 160GB/Storage HDDs | LG CD/DVD SATA | Rosewill 600W 2 12v Rail@44 | Ccleaner, Defraggler | Malwarebytes', SUPERAnti-Spyware | Avira AntiVir Personal | Google Chrome v3/4, IE8
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You could also insert the install CD and either reinstall, or repair installation if it gives the option to repair it.

 

 

On the top line under HELP select Detect and Repair have your OFFICE CD ready when it ask for it then you should be able to uninstall it from add and remove with no problems.

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