Bedroom Golf

[LuLu]

Hope this isn't too risque' for this forum. If it is, then please delete as you see fit.

 

 

THE RULES FOR BEDROOM GOLF

 

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for

play - normally one club & two balls.

 

2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of

the hole.

 

3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club

in the hole and keep the balls out of the hole.

 

4. For the most effective play, the club should have

a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check

shaft stiffness before play begins.

 

5. Course owners reserve the right to measure the length

of the club to avoid damage to the hole.

 

6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes

as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that

play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being

denied permission to play the course again.

 

7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole

immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced

player will normally take time to admire the course,

with special attention to the well formed bunkers.

 

8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses

they have played or are currently playing to the owner

of the course being played. Upset course owners have

been known to damage a player's equipment for this reason.

 

9. Players are encouraged to have proper rain gear

along, just in case.

 

10. Players should assure themselves that their match

has been properly scheduled. Particularly when a new

course is being played for the first time. Previous

players have been known to become irate if they discover

someone else playing what they consider to be a private

course.

 

11. Players should not assume that the course is in

shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed

if they find the course to be temporarily under repair.

Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this

situation. More experienced players will find alternate

means of play when this is the case.

 

12. Players are advised to obtain the course owner's

permission before attempting to play the back nine.

 

13. Slow play is encouraged; However, players should

be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace at least temporarily,

at the course owner's request.

 

14. It is considered outstanding performance, time

permitting, to play the same hole several times in

one match.

 

15. The course owner will be the sole judge of who

is the best player.

 

16. Players are advised to think twice before considering

membership at a given course. Additional assessments

may be levied by the course owner and the rules are

subject to change. For this reason many players prefer

to continue to play several different courses.

[CTskifreak]

Haha...OMG so good...cause anyone over the age of like 15 knows what you are talking about...putting it into those terms is hilarious.

 

AJ

[LuLu]

LOL yeah it's an oldie but goodie. Glad you enjoyed.

[fireryone]

I disapprove of this kind of humor, you can be funny without being dirty.

See: this for proof.

[LuLu]

But dirty humor is sometimes the best humor. But ok, my bad.

[JDPower]

I disapprove of this kind of humor, you can be funny without being dirty.

And you can be funny with being dirty, if you disapprove don't read it.

 

To help you feel a bit better heres some nice clean humour for you from one of my fave comedians: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eshR-WpdYDM

[hazelnut]

Just a bit of info here

 

 

If a statue of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air the person has died in battle.

 

If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.

 

If the horse has all four legs on the ground the person has died on natural causes.

 

If the horse has all four legs in the air the statue has fallen over.

[JDPower]

Just a bit of info here

If a statue of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air the person has died in battle.

 

If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.

 

If the horse has all four legs on the ground the person has died on natural causes.

That is actually a myth but I'll let you off for the purposes of the joke

[LuLu]

And you can be funny with being dirty, if you disapprove don't read it.

 

Seriously. But thank goodness I didn't post some of the other jokes I have.

[LuLu]

Just a bit of info here

If a statue of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air the person has died in battle.

 

If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.

 

If the horse has all four legs on the ground the person has died on natural causes.

 

If the horse has all four legs in the air the statue has fallen over.

 

Hehe this one always gives me a chuckle.