Am I hallucinating or something?

[Mike Rochip]

I don't want to know what the stick shift will be used for...

 

My doctor the car.

[Vanguard382]

oh god....

[Sniper]

Turn your head and rev.

[Mike Rochip]

Turn your head and rev.

 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

 

LOL! It took me a minute to get it...

[rridgely]

If they manage this one:

Taking that a step further, the wheel, in conjunction with other technology, will also be able to gauge a driver?s temperament and blood pressure, adjusting the color of the headlights on the car to warn others of the driver?s mental state.

 

I'm screwed.

[Mike Rochip]

I tried to quote your comments rridgely but I couldn't figure out how

 

OK, I'm watching Antiques Roadshow and they're appraising a chair that somebody made out of an elk.

 

Anyway, aside from the fact that apparently Toyota's gone INSANE there's another problem. Unless Toyota is going to market special pants and underwear to go along with their new Medicatedlotionmobile, apparently we'll need to be half naked or at least wearing the infamous open-in-the-back-paper-hospital-gown we all know and love if we want to take full advantage of the car's special features.

 

And will anyone anywhere ever again at any time under any circumstances want to ride in anyone else's car?

 

"Thanks for the ride lokoike! Been a while since I've had a ride in the old beater. You don't see too many blue cars these days with brown upholstery on the seats. Kind of a wierd color scheme. I mean the doors are white and the dashboard too. Even the headliner's white. Why would they make the seats brown... OH MY GOD GET ME OUT OF HERE!" It's like a Seinfeld episode that's gone terribly wrong.

 

As for the mood sensing steering wheel that will turn the car in to a warning beacon that all other drivers will have to avoid if they know what's good for them, maybe people won't have to flash their high beams, jam on the brakes, yell and point (with the finger we only use to point with on special occasions) quite so often. The drawback will be that every other car will be glowing like the space shuttle on re-entry.

 

Meanwhile, across town where things are quieter two neighbors are talking:

 

"Hi Bob! Hey did you find out of you wife is pregnant?"

 

"Well we thought she was but she took a ride in our Hyundai Sonagram and the results came back negative. She took it kind of hard."

 

"Yeah, I kinda figured she was upset when her headlights burned the backs of my retinas the other day."

 

"Did you ever buy that car you were raving about? You were pretty excited about finding a car that old in such great shape. I remember you said it didn't leak a drop of fluid anywhere."

 

"No I didn't get it after all. There were some issues... I was going over the paperwork and found a problem."

 

"The Title?"

 

"No that was fine and the Bill of Sale looked good too. Unfortunately, the Bill of Health for the driver had a problem."

 

"It wasn't notarized?"

 

"No, that was OK, let's just say the car wasn't leaking any fluids."

 

Seriously though. We don't need all that high tech stuff. All we need are the simple features we asked for all along. Headlights that can make laser beams, 2 foot pointed steel spikes that come out of the sides of the wheels, and an exhaust system that can produce a smoke screen when we need one. What's the holdup?!? The Batmobile and the Mach V had those way back in the Sixties!

 

On the lighter side if you write ATOYOTA it reads the same forwards, backwards, AND IN A MIRROR!

 

Sorry this post wanders around so much, I wrote it in my Rambler. Rambler! Get it?

 

Well now I'm all worked up and psychotic. Luckily my mental health facilitator prescribed me a new Charger with the Electroshock Therapy option. Should be all Chargered up by now... bzzzzzaaaaaZZZAAPPP!!

[rridgely]

Funniest post I have read in a long time!

(To quote press the reply button under my post and it will quote me. Or you can press the quote button and then press add reply.)