Thought of the day 2

[Fluffy]

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax.

 

 

 

Paraprosdokian Sentences

 

? Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

 

 

? Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

 

 

? The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

 

 

? Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

 

 

? If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

 

 

? We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

 

 

? War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

 

 

? Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

 

 

? The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

 

 

? Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

 

 

? To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

 

 

? A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

 

 

? How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

 

 

? Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

 

 

? Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

 

 

? I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.

 

 

? A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

 

 

? Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".

 

 

? I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

 

 

? I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"

 

 

? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

 

 

? Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

 

 

? Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?

 

 

? Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

 

 

? A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

 

 

? You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

 

 

? The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

 

 

? Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

 

 

? A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

 

 

? Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

 

 

? Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

 

 

? I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

 

 

? Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

 

 

? I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

 

 

? I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

 

 

? When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

 

 

? You're never too old to learn something stupid.

 

 

? To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

 

 

? Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

 

 

? Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

 

 

? A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

[Icedrake]

Nice list of sentences Fluffy. Some of those really made me laugh.

[DennisD]

Love them Fluff.

 

Some people just have a way with words. We know them, but we can't string them together like that.

[LuLu]

lol i love these!

[ishan_rulz]

Had read most of them, but thanks for listing them. I absolutely loved them.

[hazelnut]

It's always a good read when you post Fluffy

[login123]

Do these qualify...from Yogi Berra ?