* Log on - Make the barbie hotter
* Log off - Don't add any more wood
* Monitor - Keep an-eye on that barbie
* Download - Getting the firewood off the ute
* Floppy disc - What you get from trying to carry too much firewood
* Window - What to shut when it's cold outside
* Screen - What to shut in the mosquito season
* Byte - What the mosquitos do
* Bit - What the mosquitos did
* Mega Byte - What the Townsville mosquitos do
* Chip - A bar snack
* Micro Chip - What's left in the bag after you eat the chips
* Modem - What you did to the hay field
* Dot Matrix - Old Dan Matrix's wife
* Laptop - Where the cat sleeps
* Software - The plastic knives and forks they give you at the Red Rooster
* Hardware - The real stainless steel cutlery
* Mouse - What eats the grain in the shed
* Mainframe - What holds the shed up
* Web - What a spider makes
* Web site - The shed or under the verandah
* Cursor - Someone who swears
* Search Engine - What you do when the ute won't go
* Upgrade - Steep hill
* Server - The person at the hotel who brings the counter lunch
* Mail Server - The bloke at the hotel who brings the counter lunch
* Sound Card - The one that wins the hand of 500
* User - The neighbour who keeps borrowing stuff
* Network - When you have to repair your fishing net
* Internet - Complicated fish net repair method
* Netscape - When a fish maneuvers out of reach
* Online - When you get the laundry hung out on the washing line
* Off line - When the clothes pegs let go and the washing falls on the ground